[x]

Life is a SiCkNeSsWhat's wrong?
I'm sick, so very sick.
See, I'm bleeding, and coughing, and hurting,
I must be sick.

Life is a sickness.
Nobody will give the cure.
If you won't, then I'll do it myself,
Until then I'll stay happy and pure.

I'm not contagious.
I promise, I swear.
I'm falling, and failing, and hitting the ground,
It seems like there's no one there.

There's no cure.
I wish there was an easy way.
Everyone looks to have found an escape, not me,
But, I'm stuck here to stay.

I'm sick .
No one's going to help me.
I'm sick .
Cure me.

My suicide noteDon’t come to my funeral
Don’t cry over my grave
Don’t say things you don’t mean
“She will be missed”
“She was so beautiful”
“She was my best friend”
Just don’t
We both know none of that is true
Don’t give me any pity
Don’t give me any false remorse or guilt
Don’t give me any fake affection
Don’t say any lies
This is my resting place
Let me be in peace
Don’t say any of those things
We both know
You never cared at all.

Take it awayWipe away my tears...
I want you around me.
Take away my fears...
They're all coming after me..
I'm Always sad...
And with no live to love..
Wipe away my tears..
And take this life...away.
Give it to somebody else..
Someone worth it... worth it more than me..
Take it from me...
I'm only wasting it...
Take the pain away.. (stop making me suffer)
My heart can no longer resit...
This'll kill me anyway... (later)
Please stop... and take my heart... (Away)......
Take it away.

Leave me AloneGet out
get out
I don't want you to see me like this
mascara bleeding down my face
eyes burning red with tears
hair messy and unbrushed
I haven't been outside in days

All I've done is sit here
thinking about how easy it would be to end all my pain
right here and now
and I would never look back
I don't want you here
you will keep me from doing it
you will bar my escape
and break my wings
calling yourself my saviour
and telling me its for my own good
when you have doomed me to live
alone and scarred
branded and forgotten
mistreated and abused
and forced to remember every moment

don't say you are helping me
get out
get out

The End.I open my eyes and it hits me. I feel my chest tighten as a first breath of consciousness swirls through my mind. Today’s the day. The last day of suffering. The last day of pain. The last day I have to put up the walls around myself. Though I fear to close my eyes, I do. I need to steady myself.
“The worst is yet to come.”
I breathe deeply and mentally prepare the barricades, the walls I surround myself with thud into place as I adjust to the day. The strangest part is the fear, there is none. But as I stand and walk to the door, each step drains me.
“Soon it will be over.”
Though I feel empty, it’s strange how I can suddenly feel everything, like my senses have come alive again. The carpet under my feet tickles between my toes; the cold air stings

It Was an AccidentThere's blood on the floor.
Lots of it, sticky, red.
There just seems to be more.
The light is fading now, am I dead?
I fall, things flicker, and fade.

It was an accident, I swear!

My stomach hurts.
I can feel it burning from things under the sink.
I can't seem to put together any words.
I can't seem to focus, can't seem to think.
I fall, in agony, and exhale one last time.

It was an accident, I swear!

I feel like nothing.
I am nothing, just emptiness.
Now I'm falling.
This tastes sweeter; death's caress.
I think I broke my bones.

It was an accident, I swear!

I choke over the phone.
It hurts my tied-up throat to speak.
At least I won

BreathlessHere I'm once again
Just checking if you're okay
It's a long time since I last saw you
And I know we're not friends

But even though
you want me gone
It's not that easy to leave
To be honest, you're a part of me

I hope you won't notice
That I've been here
If you do then I know you'll leave
But I love watching you, when I do I can't breath

Even if I'm dead to you
You're still on my mind
You used to be a part of me
And I'm sorry I can't let you go

I wonder what's the right thing
I wonder what to do
Maybe I should just stare at you
And you'll leave me breathless till I die

ReflectionEvery time I look at you
This is what I see
A pathetic little girl
Who looks a lot like me

Every time I look at you
I feel the anger rise
It courses through my veins
And I want to close my eyes

You are so selfish
So needy and vile
Please just go away
At least for a while

I don't want to see you
You make me sick
How dare you show your face
I wish you didn't exist

You're to blame for everything
That I have gone through
You hurt the people I love
And now I'll do it to you

I'll cut you and stab you
I'll rip you to shreds
I'll tear you apart
Till you wish you were dead

You ruined my life
You caused all this pain
And I've come to think that
I

Burn MeFrom embers she rekindles the flame
and the burning nose and tearing eyes
start up again
as you stare into the ashes,
breathing
the last curls of smoke

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More from ~azaleapeaock

I quit.I can't help it
I keep lying
To you
To myself
To the world
I was betrayed
Again
And forgotten
Again
That spark of hope
That I'd finally found
Got snuffed out again
Gone
In the blink of an eye
That pit
That I had just climbed out of
I fell in again
Deeper this time
Without even a hint of light
At the end
It was stupid of me anyways
To actually think
That my personal hell
Was finally over
But it's not
And I should've known that
I got my hopes up
To be crashed back down
Again
I thought I had actually
Found the perfect guy
Again
But I was wrong
Again
And it hurts
Like never before
There's so many
Knives in my

Expressing My EmotionsThere's another side of me
That just lurks in me
Waiting to be released
And shown to the world
But I can't
Cause then they'll judge me
And shut me off
From the rest of the world
Because I'm a freak
Insane
Unnatural
Possessed
Unwanted
All because of one little thing
I express my emotions
Differently
Then everyone else
Thus I must be sectioned off
And judged and avoided
For something so tiny
It shouldn't even matter
But because of the rest of the world
I have to keep it hidden
Keep the biggest part of me
And my life a secret
I can never fully be myself
Around anyone
For fear of what they'll say
And how they'll reac

Too Much Caring?I can't afford to care anymore
Every time I do
I get so attached to someone
They end up
Stabbing me in the back
On purpose, or not
But either way
It always happens
I put myself out there
So many times
Hoping for someone to catch me
Only to be dropped
Time and time again
Every time I care
I hurt myself more and more
Maybe it's simply just time
To stop caring about anything.

Little RazorbladeAbout before…
I lied
I do have those urges
Of wanting to slice my wrists open
And watch as my life slowly bleeds out of me
I want to again
I want the physical pain
To ease the emotional pain
I just want it all to end
And my little razorblade
Seems the best option
Of delaying that
I want that blood
So much
I crave it
I crave the pain
And the scars
And the tears
That falls like waterfalls
Releasing my sorrow with them
I've never felt such intense
Urges
Of wanting that little razorblade
And the pain that comes with it.

Leaving This WorldI don't really know what I'm doing anymore
In life
In my relationships
I feel numb from the world
Shut off
And placed in my own corner
Everything I seem to do
Is either stupid
Or off-putting
The one guy I thought I finally found
I scared off
Because I was too caring
Too worried about his life
And now he's gone
Just like all the others
I've ever known
It seems like I'm just stuck
In an endless loop
Of disappointments
I'm not sure what I can do anymore
I try
And try so much
To help the ones I love
But end up ruining it
I'm slowly realizing
That maybe
This isn't a world for me anymore.

Wanted Disorders"Stop eating
You're too fat
You can't possibly eat more
You need to purge now
You're so darn fat"
These are the thoughts
That are running through my mind
I want to be skinny
And beautiful
More than anything in the world
I want to be anorexic
I want to be bulimic
Yet, I can't seem to do it
I can't get myself to stop eating
I can't get myself to purge
But I crave it
I crave that feeling of hollowness in my stomach
Accompanied with satisfaction
Knowning that I could drop the weight so fast
I could become that beautiful skinny girl
That I know is lurking inside of me
But is trapped by all this fat
I know I can be gorgeous

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Submitted: February 25
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[x]

This is how I end

by ~azaleapeaock, Feb 25, 2013, 8:58:07 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I’m sorry
For what I’m about to do
I’m sorry
For the failure I am
I’m sorry
For the wreck I have become
I’m sorry
For all the hurt I’ve caused you
I’m sorry
For all the words that were wasted on me
I’m sorry
For not being good enough for you
I’m sorry
For always coming up short
I’m sorry
For what is going to happen to me
I’m sorry
But this is my fate.

This is how I endby ~azaleapeaock

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

Mood: Love

~Metalwauwa Feb 26, 2013

this is... I cant tell you, its exactly my style of thinking and I can identify with this word completely.

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